||This research aims to understand the workings of the self, its performativity and its relational dynamics with the family in the context of Indian arranged marriages. My area of interest is the initial interaction process that takes place between the two candidates and their respective families who meet for a possible marital alliance. I use autoethnography as my primary method to understand and problematize social performances as played out during this first interaction process. I use the works of Judith Butler, R.D. Laing and Erving Goffman to understand the duality in the self when it is faced with the conflict of trying to negotiate a traditional collective identity in a globalized, contemporary India that is exposed to individualism that is practiced in the West.